Allowing your partner to fall in love with you.
The most important thing in a relationship is “allowing”. I was very very high with my lover, then I asked myself: why? Why am I so “high”, why am I so in love? What could be the reason?
Then, I understood: he was just allowing me.
He was allowing me to take care of him, he was allowing me to touch him, he was allowing me to be in his presence, to hug him, to laugh with him. And of course I was allowing him too.
During my meditation, suddenly, I understood: everything is about what is happening inside me, everything is about what’s happening in my heart. I was burning like a sun, and all this transformation was possible just because he was allowing me. He loved me so much that he let me care for him, allowing my personal process to expand.
When we allow someone to love us, we allow him or her heart to open up and expand. More we allow intimacy, physical contact, more we allow the multidimensional alchemy to take place. If we do not surrender, if we create resistance, then we do not allow our partner to live his experience. Each time we refuse the love of someone, we are just stopping his or her enlightenment process. It can be platonic as true love has nothing to do with sex. Also, you can fall in love with a friend or fall in love with someone of same or different sex. It doesn’t matter as this experience is far beyond this materialistic world. This experience is relative to our soul and how we are evolving as human beings.
There is a paradox because everything is taking place inside us, but there is a limit of expansion outside. This limitation is how far my partner can allow me to love him or her. If no one allows you to love, how can you open your heart? If no one is accepting your love, how can you express your love?
The true question is: can we reflect the love that our partner is giving to us? Can we allow him or her to be the love he or she is? Yes or no? Why? Can I allow the unconditional love of my partner to exist? It is beautiful because love is a dance between two beings opening their hearts, growing together.
If caring and physical contact is allowed then new deep steps are allowed in. Of course this burning process also called “falling in love” is very painful and uncomfortable as it is dissolving the ego and the personality. Something is literally “dying of love” so something new can take birth. “Something” is literally killing us.
Also there is another paradox: our old “I” should die if we want the new ”I” to take birth, this is why “falling in love” is an awakening.
Of course, most of the time, our little “I”, our Ego is resisting and doesn’t want to die of. He is so scared of love that it will do anything to stop the process including destroying the relationship. That is why there is so much of drama between partners! Most of the time, the egos are trying to kill the relationship because they just don’t want to “die of love”. This process is a destruction process, this process is beyond any understanding, beyond the mind. This process is the end of your world. Only the heart “knows” that it’s good, that it’s the way we are evolving. Faith and courage will be needed if you really want to allow the love to grow and to expand.
More you are enlightened, more you already are unidentified with the ego, more it is easy to fall in love. It is much easier to fall in love after enlightenment because you have no attachment and no identification. When enlightened, you are ready to die, again and again as you know that you can’t really die because you were never born. It is just a new mutation, a new transformation, another step. Just like a shrimp or a crab is moulting, you are transforming yourself, not physically but energetically and psychologically.
Most of the process is an “inner” process. It is the internal process of opening your heart. Something from inside you is mutating, it begins with the heart and it continues within the whole body.
Yes, falling in love and surrendering to love is the key to enlightenment.
We just have to be courageous enough to surrender to the process and to let God fall in love through us. Because in reality we do not “fall in love”, God is falling in love through us with your partner, his divine creation. This is why it is so powerful. We can also say that God is falling in love with himself through us. When this powerful love is living through us, when we receive this amazing powerful force, we are transforming ourselves.
The power of this process is beyond imagination, more you will resist and the more you will suffer. More you surrender, the more you will “die of love”. Yes, in both cases it is not easy, but the paradox is that it’s the best thing which can happen to you in this life.
One of the solution for beginners is to do it as slowly as possible and surrender as much as you can. It is not always easy as true love is impossible to manage, adapt to or control. It can be very wild, passionate, huge and violent. Love is the most powerful force of the universe and it is managed by the Almighty, so don’t even think you can control or decide anything. You don’t choose to fall in love. Love is choosing you. God is choosing you because you are ready. The only thing you can choose is to surrender, to let it be, to wait, to allow this love to express. More you allow this love to express, the more something amazing and powerful will appear.
Everything around you and your partner will become different as you now are living under God’s grace. If both of the lovers can deeply, “allow the love” to literally come down on earth, then the incarnation of God truly appears in a new way. His grace becomes visible, partners are sharing the same “one”, the same “I”, the same love, receiving the same mind, thoughts, and grace in the now. Time stopped and a new way of being, in the now, in the presence is appearing.
This is what we can feel when two beings are just “in love”. We can feel that something special is happening around them, we can feel the grace expressing itself through them.
In this special presence, in this special now, the two beings are reaching some special level of consciousness as they are experiencing an awakening experience. A transformational process leading to more enlightenment is living through the lovers.
Hearts chakras are opened and others are following. This special “plateau” of grace can survive for some weeks or months, sometimes for some years. Most of the time, the ego of the partners comes back and adapts a new survival strategy. Then the drama can begin! Attachment, jealousy and the idea that we own “our” partner are some examples. Love and passion can continue or not. All depends on their abilities to transform themselves and to adapt the process to their own personal rhythms.
If it is too difficult, or if the process of transformation is stopped, after many years for example, love will find new compatible partners with a new story, more powerful, more strong, with new things to learn.
Love is like a respiration, just like the play of Shiva and Shakti. The idea is to find a way to let this burning fire to live forever and why not? More you choose a partner with a strong ego the more you will have drama, the more you take someone already enlightened, the more it will be easy and fun.
Since the beginning of human history, this is how human beings are going to enlightenment: falling in love with their partners. The good news is that it is accessible to every one easily. We just have to surrender to all the propositions that God is giving to us every day…
Of course it is very easy to read about it, the only truth will be your own experience of it.
Are you ready for love? Are you ready for enlightenment?
Each of us can experience this amazing war between the heart and the mind, between the love and the ego.
If God brings you to this text, surely it is because you already are or you will be touched by this subject… He is so smart…Let’s see what he has prepared for you my dear reader!
Kunzang, december the 23th – 2015
“Falling in love is the most amazing and the most beneficial experience you can have in your life. Do not forget to fall in love before you die, or one day, you will realize that you have never lived.” Kunzang
“I have created “falling in love” so you can meet me, so I can meet you.” Brahmadev
